holistikissim

You are in control

Don’t try to be perfect, try to be brave

In our world, and even more with all the social networks, we imagine that others are just happy and have a perfect life. Because we see amazing bodies within the fitness world, amazing cars and houses from successful people, going to heavenly location for holidays…living the perfect life.

And it is absolutely normal to wish the same for us. We want the best in life for ourselves and our loved ones.

But this is only the visible part of the iceberg. This is just smoke.

We shouldn’t be looking for perfection because that simply does not exist. I guess if some of us were perfect, they would be gods. No less than that.

Whereas being brave is a totally different mind-set. Being brave isn’t being fearless. Being brave is being fearful but doing it anyway. If don’t feel the fear and you do things, it is just easy while if you can feel the fear and still going for what you want, that is the real definition of bravery.

There are lots of things I have been doing during my life that were very easy to me but not for my friends. I thought I was showing them I was being brave; I was just so wrong. For them, maybe, I was being brave but what really matters? The way people sees me or what I think about myself? If we choose the first choice, we will again take the wrong path and do stuff we don’t want for ourselves and fail at the forever search for happiness. Reaching perfectness is simply impossible because we will always be running after it, we will never be happy where we are at.

“When I’ll get that job, I’ll be happy” – “When I’ll be in a relationship with that person, I’ll be happy” – “When I’ll have the two children I’ve always wished for, I’ll be happy” – When I’ll have that car and that house, I’ll be happy” – “When I’ll be a millionaire, I’ll be happy”, etc.

While the second choice will help us to become the best version of ourselves. Find and develop the best we have within.

Looking for perfection is a never ending search that will keep you unhappy forever.

And I have a perfect example (no no, not a play on word here 😛 ): my dad. He has always been looking for more while letting his life pass. He has grown up in a very poor family and living in a Burgundy village full of rich families owning massive vineyards. He always told me how much he suffered having no money to do things while all his friends were making fun of him because of that. So he worked and worked, and worked some more. He definitely succeeded. Has his own business, always worked by himself and finally retired at 70. What is he doing now? Well, he keeps on working on side projects, investing, managing his wealth. Alone. Because he is always looking for perfection and never reaching it, he does not even know what it means to be alive. I didn’t see him really smile and laugh for years, if he ever did. Being honest, he has incredible mental and physical constitutions because I believe he has been in depression for about 30-40 years. His dad was bipolar, his brother is bipolar and I am bipolar…dogs do not make cats… He will probably pass away in the next decade seeing his lifestyle and I can’t even say if he has ever been happy. When he sold his consulting company few years ago, he told me that he thinks he deserves another 0 behind what he owns. I understand what he means but for him, it is more than serious.

I don’t want to be like and I don’t want any of you to be like that.

Understand my words. Don’t look for perfection. Look for bravery.

Do things that will make you better. Do things that will make you more powerful, on the inside. Not powerful over others.

I am full of flaws and I will die full of flaws but my mission is make sure I have as minimum flaws as possible when death comes grab my hand. Until then, I will have to be courageous and brave to face all the things that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I have heard or read something very interesting about a year back that life loves courageous people. I understood that by being courageous and brave we do things that we really fear and by facing them, we make discomfort, comfortable and life rewards us by being braver and in some situations, grants us with some amazing gifts.

I think that something that can really push us to do more. Just the fact that we are braver every time we face more discomfort is already an amazing gift. But I can feel that you are wondering what kind of gifts life could grant us on top of that.

Well, I am thinking that for instance, we want to change career but have to go back to school learning a totally new profession. This will turn our entire life around. Probably have to take night classes, not being able to see our friends and have fun time for a while, studying for months or maybe years. I believe life would reward us with an amazing career into that new field. Making more money, being more stable and financially free. Feeling so much better about ourselves.

I am also thinking about starting our own business. This will require a tremendous amount of work and courage. But facing our fear to fail and/or being miserable for some times, and going after it anyway with everything we’ve got, life would reward us with a successful business. More money again, being independent, getting a freedom beyond what we could dream of, being able to accomplish other dreams, etc.

We never know what can happen when we do things but one sure thing is that if we don’t do, nothing will happen or worse, life will take action and most probably in the wrong direction.

So my friend, don’t let life or other things take control of your own story.

I’ve recently been diagnosed bipolar, which I believed I was since I was like 15, and I was given two choices:

  • Having a life-long treatment that will alter my feelings by making them more stable. I wouldn’t feel so bad and down when things seem really sh** which could really help but that would make my really happy moments, that euphoria how they call it, less intense. And for now, I don’t want to lose that part of me.
  • Manage everything by myself, now that we have identified the “issue” and learn to manage my feelings. Moderate and temper my feelings every time I identify the pattern. That’s the path that I have chosen for myself.

I am creating a new sub-section within “The Journey” tab where I will be talking as much as possible about that journey. If I can help, even one single person, with my words and my experience, I would have already won.

That’s one part of my life I want to be brave about. Before I used to drug myself up to a point, that reality and something totally far from it was mixed so I could just forget about all my problems. That’s not being courageous, that’s just being blind for some time and getting back to hearth even worse.

I am showing life how brave I am with that issue, I trust the process and I know it will show me how beautiful it is. In the meantime, I will be enjoying the process to the fullest.

Be brave my friend! Trust me, life will reward you.

I believe in you. We don’t know each other and probably will never meet or talk but you, yes you reading this, I believe in you. You are loved. You are blessed. I believe in you so believe in your own power.

This is brought to you by kindness, altruism, love and caring.

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