holistikissim

You are in control

What are you doing wrong? Ask yourself

The other day, I listening to Jordan Peterson (if you know, you know and if you don’t, please take some time to listen to him. Listen carefully and he will open you mind about yourself), and he said something very simple but so powerful: “sit on your bed and ask yourself what you are doing wrong on a daily basis that is screwing up your life.”.

Jordan Peterson

Without realising, it is something that I’ve been doing for the past 12 to 18 months. Not really sitting on my bed and asking myself that question but on a regular basis, I was wondering what I could improve and what I could abandon that isn’t helping me.

There are so many things we are doing every single day that is holding us back. Holding us to that self we know won’t give us the life we dream of.

For myself, 18 months ago, I know that keeping on using drugs was the worst thing I was doing to myself. I knew that I wanted to look really fit and finally enjoy taking my shirt of at the beach or simply stop sweating just by changing position in my bed. I know I was not someone stable. I was full of dreams, wonderful ideas and goals but never pushed myself to go after them. I knew I wasn’t in the environment I wanted to evolve. I knew I wasn’t the person I aspire to be. Actually, I didn’t even know the person I wanted to become, I wanted to be in 10, 20 or 30 years’ time. I knew I didn’t have the friends I wanted for myself. I knew I didn’t behave properly with the women I was dating. I knew I wasn’t a good listener but instead always bringing my “wisdom” while I wasn’t doing the things I was saying.

Asking yourself what you are doing wrong on a daily basis and truly find the answer is the best thing you can do for yourself. You might not like what you will find out but it is absolutely necessary to start doing that mandatory inner work.

How can you expect being a better person if you never try to better yourself?

You can’t do everything at once because you will end up not doing the profound work on each thing and ultimately you will give up on many things that are necessary for your self-growth. I know I can’t do it and I’ve seen many many people around me being the same.

I have taken each issue one by one and deeply working them out. Each issue has different aspects so in a way, you will be working a several fronts at once but focused on one single problem.

For instance, about my addictions. The main thing was to just stopping using but there were many aspects linked to it. Having a dealer I could call. Having friends using. Having too much time on my hand where I was bored. Not believing I could really cure from drugs. Not having any goals and passions that could lift me up. Not understanding that I was a junky. Not knowing why I starting using in the first place. And honestly I could easily go on and on but see, there were so many points I had to work on just to heal myself from my addictions.

Same for being fit. I wanted and still want to be the fittest I can be. Start to exercise. Start to eat healthier and healthier. Learn how my body responds to each work out, to each meal, to each exercise. Motivate myself to keep going to the gym. Remove bit by bit what does not serve my goals like taking the escalator so I just started taking the stairs every single time I could. After some time, I also stopped taking the public transports and walking like 45min to an hour to go wherever I had to go. Stop being lazy to cook myself things and order on Uber or Deliveroo because it was convenient. First I love to cook so I was doing something I really enjoy, second, I was saving money and third, I was serving my goal to live a healthy life.

For each issue you will find out about your life, there are many aspects you will have to work on if you really want to fix it. You have to want it to your core.

I think it is absolutely crucial to segment each real issue into small things, as I just did above, so you have little goals that are not so hard to reach, that you will be able and capable to fix more easily.

Make yourself a tailored plan

One more important thing that I had struggle to deal with is, don’t blame yourself for failing. I have been super attentive to my diet. For like 6 months, I was eating very healthy but at some point I started to order again for delivery and allowing myself some junk food and I was feeling so sh** because of that. It was a double sentence. I didn’t appreciate the food I was eating and I was feeling bad because I cracked. Don’t blame yourself for failing but instead, either allow yourself some “goodies” from time to time and really enjoy it or just bounce back by telling yourself, you are just human and failing is part of the process because it makes you learn something.

Failure is not there to show you that you are not worth it, it is there to show you what you have to improve. Take failure for it is, a lesson to be learn from.

I can use one final example to show you my reasoning. I am doing this website and blog because I want to show to as many people as possible that if you really want to better their life, they can do it and have everything they’d ever need within them. I have my own story and my own words to explain what I want but who says it will interest anyone? Who says I am being honest enough? Who says I find the right words to express my thoughts? Do I have the right skills and knowledge to succeed in that? So I am, using that post, to ask myself the right questions. What should be improving to help more people? What should I do to attract more visitors and readers? How can, one day, make a living from what I am doing now?

Really wondering myself those questions and I understand that I have to read more, I have to learn more on so many things like from people who did the same things before me, from mental healthcare professionals, from people who developed amazing websites and blogs, people who succeeded in writing great stories, forwarding amazingly their pain, suffering and the wisdom they learnt from these.

I have started doing some Youtube videos like a month ago but it is not working yet. Only about 23 views, few likes and 2 subscribers, including myself J, over 12 videos. I may have the right intention and the right thoughts but it seems that I am terrible video maker. Maybe the way I speak isn’t good enough, maybe my tone is too monotone and does not provide a real interest. So I have to teach myself how to make better videos. I have to edit my content to make it more attractive while keeping the main point of doing it which is, helping people. I may have stop recording myself in front of the camera but maybe create animated videos to tickle people’s interest. Maybe my content is right but I don’t forward it the right way.

Open your mind, to new and better things

By asking myself, truly and honestly, what I am doing wrong, I find the answers that will help me improve my life, improve my projects and better myself.

Repeat that inner work regularly. One or two sessions won’t be enough to really get better. You have to make it a routine. Maybe once a week or once a month.

Don’t quit on yourself because you are the longest relationship you will ever have.

This is brought to you by kindness, altruism, love and caring.

5 responses to “What are you doing wrong? Ask yourself”

  1. If you’d like to connect on WhatsApp or be part of a Spiritual Musings WhatsApp group with over 92 members where we share quotes, musings, make friends and have weekly topic discussions on Monday’s, you’re always welcome. 🙏🏻

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    1. Hey there, thanks a lot for your comment 🙂 I would be more than happy to join a like-minded group of people. Since I realised I dont have all the answers and really started to listen to others, I have been learning sooooo much within the last 18 months so I would be grateful to join you gals and guys 🙂 You can send me the WhatsApp link via my contact email address: contact@holistikissim.com. Many thanks

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      1. How wonderful Jon, thank you for your message! Resonating with your musings. I have emailed you and look forward to welcoming you into the group. 🙏🏻♥️

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  2. I was just thinking about this exact situation myself. Every day, I should look at the things that have hindered my growth instead of the tiny good things that I think I’ve done to offset any of them. So procrastination, eating junk, and not taking care of the house, those are just some of the things I could work on to make things better. As Wes Watson would put it, find what ails you and cure it. Anyway, thanks for this post!

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    1. Hey Stuart 🙂 Hope all is well for you. I am really happy to see that you are asking yourself those questions. It is a very long inner work but giving so much benefits after we are used to think that way. Often, doing great things starts by removing the wrong ones. It is a lifetime work and like everything else, consistence is the key 😉 Thanks again for your support mate, really much appreciated!

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